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[bloodspeaker]

 

voice | text | audio

"SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY.  DO YOUR BEST NOT TO MAKE THE MESSAGE A COMPLETE FUCKING WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME."

 

Comments

[bloodspeaker]

[What is even going on here? Adrasteius turns on his video and leans forward over the device, frowning very deeply.]

You've misinterpreted the comment, you ridiculous brute. I didn't say that there were legions of exactly you running around. I just happen to know a great deal of bloodsucking barbarians that are like you. Do you understand what I'm saying?

[DO YOU COMPREHEND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?]

[fitful]

If they're like me that means they are me. [ said mulishly. come on, psh, satero knows there's no one like him. THERE'S ONLY HIM. HE'S SPECIAL. ] I don't like that.

[ so basically NO. NO COMPRENDE. ]

[bloodspeaker]

I don't actually care if you like it. It's the goddamn truth. Your brand of senseless violence is extremely familiar to me.

[granted, most people aren't so happy-go-lucky about it, but.]

[fitful]

But I've never even met you before!

[ WHINING, now. ]

[bloodspeaker]

You beat me to a bloody pulp, and you're the one getting upset. Light preserve me.

[there's the sound of shuffling as he gets up from the tablet, following by the brief, intense crackle of flame. When he sits back down, he's holding some berry tarts in his hand.]

Listen, I knew who you were from the minute your boot connected with my spine, and my understanding deepened with every fractured bone. I assure you, Satero--you have countless brothers and sisters back where I'm from.

[he's still speaking figuratively, of course, despite the obvious fact that Satero is not taking him that way. nOT VERY NICE, ADRASTEIUS.]

[fitful]

Okay, now you're just fucking with me. [ GRUMBLE. ] I didn't have any family. Not that I remember.

[ HE IS JUST NOT GOING TO GET THIS, EVER. but meanwhile satero has to squint hard at whatever adrasteius is holding.... ]

What's that?

[bloodspeaker]

I was, again, not speaking literally-- you know what, forget about it. Put it out of your mind before you pull something up there.

[he waves the tart around before biting into it, very delicately, so as not to spill crumbs.]

And it's a blueberry tart. I prefer skethylberry, but those just don't exist on this sad excuse for a planet.

[he takes another bite. Mmm, so juicy and fresh.]

[fitful]

[ stare some more, blink some more. he doesn't know what skethylberry is and probably wouldn't be able to repeat it if asked, but. but. ]

...Can I have one?

[bloodspeaker]

That depends. Are you going to burn down or otherwise destroy my fucking apartment?

[fitful]

No! 'course not! [ SOUNDING ALMOST OFFENDED. or maybe just mock-offended.

he ran out of matches anyway. ]

[bloodspeaker]

Are you going to kick the shit out of me again? While eating all of my pastries?

[JUST TRYING TO BE THOROUGH.]

[fitful]

[ THINKS VERY HARD ABOUT THIS ]

I... won't get any pastries if I say 'yes', right?

[bloodspeaker]

No. You will not.

[fitful]

[ fffroooooownnnn ]

Then no. No kicking....

[bloodspeaker]

[quickly.] Or punching.

[fitful]

[ SUDDEN, FRUSTRATED SIGH ]

No punching, kicking, biting, stabbing, choking, otherwise maiming, otherwise killing -- promise. [ He rattles off the list like it's one that he's had to memorize. ]

All right?

[bloodspeaker]

[Adrasteius nods briskly.]

Fine. Come over, then, and you'll have a whole plate.

[fitful]

[ was he scowling before? NOT ANYMORE. he leans in way close to the camera and grins. ]

All right!

[ pause. ]

Uh. Where?

[bloodspeaker]

[Adrasteius wonders, very briefly, if this is really such a good idea. But he did make an awful lot of tarts.]

It's Unit 408. The door's not locked.